Raising a child is a challenge and it demands great responsibility. Even though the birth of a child is expected and desired, it transforms the identity and function of both parents.
The transition can be challenging, whether couples hold the stereotypical gender standards that come with parenthood or not. In most cases, mothers still take on the role of primary caregivers. They are happy to do so and appreciative of their husbands when they offer help.
The mother as primary caregiver
Patriarchal attitudes with its focus on the male have changed and in modern society, fatherhood is no longer confined to being the provider. There are new expectations of fathers to participate more in the division of household chores and child care.
However, in practice, mothers still usually take on the role of primary caregivers of their children. Parenthood is still usually associated with more changes in the life of a mother than a father.
Most women find great fulfillment in having children and when they battle to conceive, it can cause much heartache. In-vitro fertilization is an option for them and if the problem lies with the father, they may have to use donor sperm. The best sperm donor banks usually follow a meticulous screening process for donors. IVF Authority makes the task of choosing the right sperm donor bank easier by reviewing the top ones in the U.S.
Ideal motherhood
Women are perceived as being good mothers when they are responsible, caring, loving, and attentive. A good mother is also seen as a resourceful mother who can overcome difficulties and personal weaknesses to care for a child. She will always put the needs of the child ahead of her own.
From the moment of birth, mothers instinctively take on the obligation to meet a baby’s needs and keep it safe. However, the definition of the ideal mother can create pressure on mothers to be perfect. Unrealistic, gendered expectations can make them feel they are never living up to what’s expected of them. Social media adds a new facet to this, with mothers trying to present a perfect image of motherhood in the content they post.
Fathers as secondary caregivers
Mothers who work take maternity leave to care for a child. Some companies now give fathers maternity leave, too, but they are in the minority. The woman, therefore, has to take on primary responsibility for the baby.
They usually try to prevent their husbands from suffering too much from a lack of sleep which could prevent them from doing their jobs properly. Fathers will usually step up only when they need to and when the mother isn’t present.
A mother usually forgives a lack of involvement due to the husband’s professional responsibilities, a lack of time and a lack of caring skills. Fathers who do not feel any encouragement or approval from their wives in terms of care provision tend to slow down in their participation and involvement. Wives who encourage their husbands to be present, dedicated, concerned and affectionate fathers usually see more involvement.
Education to encourage couples to move away from stereotypes
Couples are still tending to reproduce existing models in the way they act as fathers and mothers. They may find they unconsciously act the way their own fathers or mothers acted. Women need to learn to divide child care responsibilities with their husbands and husbands need more opportunities to be primary caregivers.
Educational programs during pre- and post-natal periods could be aimed at providing both men and women with the necessary parenting skills and give them opportunities to discuss any doubts, needs or difficulties.